Perfect Picks #11: a weekly roundup of resources for online creatives looking to ditch perfect
Welcome to this week’s edition of Perfect Picks, my friend! Each week, I’ll share a few encouraging words + behind-the-scenes insights into my daily perfectionism journal with real-life examples of how I manage when my perfectionism pops up.
Plus, a roundup of useful and inspiring resources for online creatives and recovering perfectionists. Think: practical tips, thought-provoking blog posts + #allthethings I've been loving lately.
Let’s get to it.
perfectly imperfect Encouragement
The struggle of self-doubt. I'm in the thick of it right now as I'm stepping into a different, new, bigger (scarier!) role for myself in my business. As I was journaling about it, this is what I realized:
Doing something scary comes with self-doubt. Doing something new brings discomfort. It's part of the process. Self-doubt hurts. It's painful. But it also has a function: it prepares you for growth. So feel the doubt, but don't listen to it or stay stuck in it. Move through it + take action (even if it's just the tiniest of steps) on your big ideas. Remember that on the other side is something great waiting for you.
Snippets from my perfectionism journal
My perfectionism showed up this week:
as being so hard on myself + continued rumination long after a simple mistake. I apologized for the mistake right after it happened, but that doesn't really help *me* get beyond it. What helped, today, was to reflect, find a lesson for growth for myself + determining 1 thing I'll do differently next time. Feeling better prepared for an inevitable next time (because I'm human after all) helped me stop thinking about this time.
as anxiety around being fully seen + heard. I spoke up today at work about a topic I'm passionate about (diversity in the workplace), but my manager shut me down. She was dismissive + condescending about it, too. It made me feel so small, like "You see, what I have to say doesn't matter!" But it does! Looking back on it now, I was in my integrity and speaking up for my values. I'm not responsible for how people perceive me or what they do with the information I'm sharing.
Snippets from my gratitude list
This week I was grateful for...
cooking a new dish
a warm bed
dinner with my parents
cracking open a new book to read
a potentially bad situation that didn't turn out so bad
Here’s my offering of inspiring reads for you this week. I loved reading through all of the ‘end of year’ + ‘year in review’ posts (and went down the rabbit hole of some of my favorite blogs in the process), because there’s just something about getting an honest behind-the-scenes peek at someone’s journey.
As always, take what you need + what resonates with you in your journey right now.
By Someday Slower
“Doesn’t work out, just how you hoped - know that others are dealing with that too. If you are dreading, this supposed special day - know that others are dreading it too. If you are standing on the sidelines, when everyone else is in the middle - know that others are on the sidelines too.”
By Jessica Rose Williams
“When I felt scared, stuck, out of my depth or comfort zone I’ve turned to my word. I’ve leaned into vulnerability and relaxed my shoulders – a little at first – and eventually to the point where I think nothing of sticking my face on Instagram stories now or turning up to a party where I hardly know anybody. Instagram lives are still tricky for me – but I think they always will be. From a things point of view, I’ve become more aware of my chronic perfectionism and consistently challenged it. It turns out resting in the imperfect is where it’s at. This shift has been good for me, because it’s raised a new level of awareness and I’ve been able to push back. I see my perfectionism in a whole new light these days. It’s not the friend I thought it was.”
By Ruth Poundwhite
“I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few years waiting for things to be “right”, waiting for “inspiration”, waiting until I knew what the “best” thing to do was. This year I stopped waiting and started doing, trying, exploring, daring, experimenting. And I’ve achieved more, learnt more, created more and felt more fulfilled than all that time I spent thinking about it. But that, of course, isn’t the whole truth. I started the year broken, and I put myself back together piece by piece. I gave birth in 2017, but 2018 was the year I really became a mother. And that transformation has been the catalyst for everything I’ve achieved in my business too.”
By Ruth Poundwhite
“If I’m honest, it sounds simpler than it is. It can be quite scary to forge your own path. And a lot of the fear and uncertainty around doing things differently to how everyone else is doing it comes from the fear of being myself. I really and truly thought I wanted to be like other people, or that others “knew better”. I’d constantly compare myself to others on social media, thinking I had to create like them, to market like them, to be as loud as them, as intelligent, as productive (or more so!). Not to mention the “noise” of so many people’s opinions coming at you from all directions on social media.”
By Josephine Brooks
“It’s interesting that all of my big challenges were mental struggles. Is it the same for you? Perhaps that’s because I’m quite a practical person and with the practical stuff I’m quite used to having ideas that go into my plan and I make them happen. But with anxiety, self doubt and fear - there’s a less easy answer that requires really working on yourself to start breaking them down.”
By Field and Nest
“This past summer was utterly blissful. Months on end of scorching sunshine and warm temperatures providing us with the perfect first summer in our new home. I spent as much time outdoors as possible, basking in the sunshine, enjoying late night picnics on the hill and indulging in plenty of wild swimming.”
By Field and Nest
“It's all well & good to be inspired by the images that you see online, aspiring towards creating similar content or styling a similar outfit, but things get messy once you start to fixate on something (or someone). It's important to remember that you don't see the full picture when you scroll through someone's Instagram feed.”
By Ditch Perfect
“Ahh… Instagram. If you’re anything like me, you probably have a love/hate relationship with Instagram. Part of you daydreams about deleting your account and be done with #allthatstress altogether. Having said that, there’s also a lot to love about Instagram. It’s a quick and easy way to stay in touch with friends and family, meet like-minded people who share your interests + learn new things. No matter where you fall on the love/hate spectrum, when you reframe the way you look at Instagram and see it for what it is - nothing more than a tool for you to use - you can start to make an intentional choice about the role it plays in your life.”
By Geoffrey and Grace
“I have been feeling a little stuck for a while… stuck creatively, stuck with work stuff, stuck with our house renovations. It’s been a struggle to find the energy to move anything forward and build any momentum – I appear to have hit a bit of a wall. In reality, we live pretty slowly and simply and yet I am still feeling overwhelmed by life at the moment and that seems like a contradiction. It’s possible that I might have a vulnerability hangover tomorrow by sharing what I am finding difficult, but I always want to be really frank about my slow living experiences and never want to paint a picture that everything is mellow and easy all the time – when it’s not.”
By Anna Dunleavy
“But what I wasn’t prepared for, was the procrastination that followed whenever I wanted to bring a new idea to life. Sure, I got the client work done, but whenever I would begin working on something new and scary, I would quickly find a thousand reasons why I couldn’t do it. I don’t have time right now, I’m not good enough, what will other people think, I’ll do it next week, next month, next year. When you’re stepping out of your comfort zone, it’s easy to fall into this trap. You panic, over analyse, worry and ultimately, you don’t act on your ideas because it feels too damn scary. That’s where accountability can really help you.”
By Olivia Bossert
“But more recently, I’ve really found a confidence in myself. A deep knowing that I do have something that I can share. I desire to help other photographers, like me, to grow. I guess it stems actually from the rebel in me. I have such a deep desire to share with you all that you can be a fashion photographer, no matter where you live, no matter where you’re from, no matter what your connections are. It can be done."
By Simple & Season
“And yet, as this remarkable year draws to a close, something feels off – out of alignment. While the business side of me has flourished, the human side has retracted, drawn in and curled up into a speck of self somewhere inside the layers of ‘business, business, business’. I have lived and breathed business this year, which has seen me achieve things I’m proud of, but here at the end of the year I wonder whether the cost was worth it. I’m not sure what it’s all been for.”
FOR MORE ENCOURAGEMENT, BEHIND-THE-SCENES SNEAK PEEKS + PERFECTIONISM-BUSTING + SLOW BUSINESS TIPS, COME HANG OUT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM.
Hey, Wendy here!
As a perfectionism coach, I help online creatives #ditchperfect, overcome their perfectionism + take action on the big ideas they have for their business. Let’s work together and make those ideas happen.